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The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions, by Christopher K. Germer
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"Buck up." "Stop feeling sorry for yourself." "Don't ruin everything." When you are anxious, sad, angry, or lonely, do you hear this self-critical voice? What would happen if, instead of fighting difficult emotions, we accepted them?
Over his decades of experience as a therapist and mindfulness meditation practitioner, Dr. Christopher Germer has learned a paradoxical lesson: We all want to avoid pain, but letting it in and responding compassionately to our own imperfections are essential steps on the path to healing. This wise and eloquent book illuminates the power of self-compassion and offers creative, scientifically grounded strategies for putting it into action. You'll master practical techniques for living more fully in the present moment - especially when hard-to-bear emotions arise - and for being kind to yourself when you need it the most.
- Sales Rank: #4951 in Audible
- Published on: 2016-01-31
- Released on: 2016-01-31
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 523 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
154 of 160 people found the following review helpful.
I LOVED THIS BOOK!!!
By Judi Tota M.S. LCAT
If you want to understand how to apply Mindfulness and Loving-Kindness Practice in daily life to reduce suffering; it is described in this book in clear, cliche-free language. The author, a seasoned meditation practitioner, teacher, and psychotherapist, includes excerpts from contemporary brain research to bring this outstanding treatment of the topic, to a higher level. This book is highly readable, and the descriptions of how to put Self-Compassion into practice, make this book especially user-friendly. As a psychotherapist, Mindfulness Meditation practitioner, and reader of a lot of books on Mindfulness, Psychology, and the brain, I HIGHLY recommend this book. It is truly OUTSTANDING!
91 of 94 people found the following review helpful.
This is a book everyone should read
By Dr. Lynn A. Paulus
The "mindful path to self-compassion" is my new favorite book. This book has wisdom with universal appeal. Who among us, can truly say they practice self-compassion and self-kindness on a regular basis, in their daily lives? Dr. Germer has a clear and engaging writing style that outlines the importance of mindful living with self awareness and compassion. He suggests practice tools to engage in the process and substaniates them with research vignettes that support the benefits. Dr. Germer makes a good case for self-compassion as the ground for all emotional healing, and for developing compassion to others. As a psychologist, I have referred several of my patients to this book. This book may very well maintstream the practice of Self-Compassion, as Kabat-Zinn did with Mindfulness. And if more and more people engage in self-compassion practices, we may all live more peacefully among one another...
81 of 84 people found the following review helpful.
An "Un-Self-Help" Book: An Excellent Guide to Befriending Yourself
By Enamorato
"Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away or become something better. It's about befriending who we are already." - Pema Chodron
How do we subvert our deeply conditioned tendencies towards self-criticism? In this competitive, stressful society, we are easily thrown into competition with ourselves - fighting desperately to eradicate the more vulnerable parts of ourselves and cultivate the qualities, experiences and possessions that we think will help us get ahead. In this struggle, we often lose touch with the capacity to have compassion for our plight, a plight shared by everyone. In "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion", psychologist Christopher K. Germer offers a way out of this often demoralizing battle. In the introduction, Germer calls this an "un-self-help book." In many ways, the methods of befriending difficult emotions and practicing compassion could directly neutralize what sends many of us to the self-help section of the bookstore. This book presents an engaging, friendly guide to navigating this often very subtle, tricky work.
The book is divided into three parts. Part I (Discovering Self-Compassion) is a guided introduction to mindfulness meditation and the concept of self-compassion. Customers may have noticed this book is similar in title to another from the same publisher: The Mindful Way through Depression. That book has actually has helped me prevent a relapse of depression for two years now and I recommend it highly. Both "The Mindful Way through Depression" and "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion" present much of the same material in much the same manner. They cite some of the same studies, bring up some of the same issues, and even quote some of the same poems. Both feature mindfulness of the breath, body and sound as gateways to a new, less reactive and more accepting relationship with life. However, in Part II (Practicing Loving-Kindness), the two books depart. Whereas the authors of "The Mindful Way through Depression" incorporate modern cognitive behavioral therapy to transform self-defeating habits, Germer introduces the ancient technique of metta (loving-kindness) meditation as a means to opening one up to one's emotional life more fully and compassionately.
Germer's meditation instructions are often quite poetic (such as observing bodily sensations "like a mother staring at a newborn baby, wondering what it's feeling"). In Part III (Customizing Self-Compassion), he offers ways to balance compassion for oneself as well as others. What I appreciate about Germer's approach is that it is so eclectic. For instance, like other books on meditation, he has the reader label emotions. However, unlike other books on meditation, Germer provides an extensive list of emotion words compiled by computer linguist Stephen DeRose. He also includes things like a list of "schemas" (patterns of habitual thoughts/feelings) from psychologist Jeffrey Young and an interesting set of {personality types" that might help customize the practice to your own particular idiosyncracies. All of this is in addition to page after page of stories from his own life and practice, fascinating studies from the fields of neuroscience and psychology, as well as poetry and cartoons.
Germer surprised me with his understanding of Buddhism. His incorporation of the Buddha's words is sometimes so subtle and natural it's easily missed. For example, in his introduction, Germer writes: "No matter how hard we try to avoid emotional pain, it follows us everywhere. Difficult emotions--shame, anger, loneliness, fear, despair, confusion--arrive like clockwork at our door. They come when things don't go according to our expectations, when we're separated from loved ones, and as a part of ordinary sickness, old age, and death. It's just not possible to avoid feeling bad." Those familiar with Buddhism will recognize this as a modern reworking of the First Noble Truth (particularly its iteration in the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta -- the Buddha's first sermon). His explanations of rather difficult Buddhist concepts such as not-self and interdependence demonstrate a nuanced understanding.
You don't have to be a Buddhist to benefit from this book. In fact, Germer includes a centering meditation found in a Trappist (Christian) monastery, a poem from the Sufi poet Rumi, as well as discussion of prayer. Germer's book would benefit anyone struggling with feelings of inadequacy, shame, anxiety or anger, and comes at a time when the synthesis of modern science and ancient wisdom are blossoming. Also recommended is British psychologist Paul Gilbert's excellent The Compassionate Mind, which discusses the practice of compassion in a larger evolutionary framework.
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